


The Darkest Hours (Bertholdt)

by lunarr



Category: Attack on Titan, Shingeki no Kyojin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2020-10-18 17:33:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20643011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarr/pseuds/lunarr
Summary: During the aftermath of the Battle of Shiganshina, Bertholdt finds himself alive, but not well. The remains of the Survey Corps have captured him and he now awaits his trial. After being offered a choice to die and maintain loyalty to Marley, or join the Survey Corps, he is faced with the hardest decision of his life.





	1. Haze

The stale air pierced his nose, and the loud ringing of someone banging an object on metal rang through his ears. He opened his eyes, barely able to see, he squinted. 

“H-hello..?” He tried to ask, not even sure if the words came out of his mouth. 

“You’re finally up I see.” 

The voice on the other side was familiar. And once he was able to fully open his eyes, he saw the metal bars a few feet in front of him. He was locked in a prison of some sort. And the voice was from Hange. The one and only, he couldn’t mistake their voice. 

“W-where..” He tried to speak, hearing how rough his voice was. 

“Hush, hush now. No need for talking, okay? We have you right where we want you.” They smiled wide and winked at him. “You do at least remember your name right? You’ve been knocked out cold for a long time!”

“Oh.. of course I remember my name. But why am I here? Where’s Reiner and Warchief Z-“ He stopped himself.

“Who’s that now?”

“No one.”

“Bertholdt.. listen, you’re very fortunate right now! The government is deciding your fate tomorrow. You’ll be able to testify.” 

“I don’t need to. I’m an enemy of this god forsaken island.” Bertholdt sighed, his mind wandering back to the status of his comrades. 

Hange winked at him. “You are, and you’ve done unspeakable things, but..”

“But what? Did Erwin put them up to this? You’re all planning to experiment on me too, huh? You’ll torture me..” Bertholdt now felt fear. How had he not died?

“Oh.. the Commander. Your friend.. the ape titan.. he killed him.” Hange’s face quickly went to sadness, as they looked directly down. 

“I-.. so the plan did go through..”

“No. We won. Shiganshina is ours again. And we found out everything to do with your world. Maybe you aren’t exactly the monsters you were labelled as.”

“But how?” Bertholdt’s face became a quick frown of disappointment. These people were never supposed to know the true history of their world. 

“I’ve said enough. Enjoy the time you still have left, Warrior.” Hange walked away, and Bertholdt sat up from the bed in the cell, looking around the dark and empty halls. There was no escape, and he couldn’t transform, it would be useless. 

So, there he sat the rest of the night, only thinking about Annie, Reiner, Zeke, and his sentence. 

How had he not died?

How?


	2. Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bertholdt meets an old comrade again, and faces the pain of not only the past, but the future.

Loud screeching came from the cell door in front of him. Two soldiers walked in to inject him with some sort of fluid. All while Hange stood at the door, watching the poor Bertholdt being pushed around. 

“What’s going on?” Bertholdt scrunched his face when they injected him once again. “What are you doing?”

Hange let out a small giggle. “It’s a fluid that will sedate you. I mean, apparently it’s working, because you’re already slurring your words.”

Bertholdt did feel it kick in at this point, his eyes growing heavy, while he felt as if he could barely move. The two soldiers dragged him by both arms, following Hange as they made their way up a flight of stairs. From there, Bertholdt couldn’t recall, he had blacked out. 

“Bring him in. This will be interesting.” The voice was familiar, again. So familiar, yet so different. It sounded calm. Bertholdt felt himself drop into a wooden chair, as his lifted his hands slowly onto the table in front of him. A light hung down just above the table, while the rest of the room was entirely dark. “Go ahead and leave us, I’ve got this under control.”

“Eren.” Just the name made him shudder with fear. It felt as if time has simply frozen. 

There he was, in Shiganshina, heading straight for the wall, the Survey Corps was helpless. And there was Armin..? Why was he still there? 

‘ No.. it’s all coming back. I’m being distracted, Eren is going to- ‘ 

Bertholdt felt it all again, Eren cutting the nape of his titan, stripping him from it, and there he was again, blacked out. 

“Why.. didn’t.. you eat me?” Bertholdt asked, doing his best to keep his composure. 

Eren smirked and shrugged slightly. “I don’t know. Levi and Hange made the decision to bring you back. But thank Hange, it was hardly Levi’s decision.” Eren sighed, looking at Bertholdt. “You haven’t changed a bit, have you? You’re still the pathetic, indecisive boy from when we met.”

Bertholdt had no words, he tried to calm himself down, but he couldn’t hold the question in much longer. “Where? Where is Reiner!” He yelled, not being able to spit anything else out. 

Eren chuckled slightly. “There’s no need to get so loud. By the way, do you need a glass of water? You’re sweating like mad.”

Bertholdt wiped his own face, embarrassed, and realizing that with every passing second, he kept losing his composure. “Please tell me where he is.”

“It doesn’t matter. He isn’t here, that’s all. He likely thinks you’re dead at this point. Hah.. just know, that I would’ve let you die. I didn’t care. You were a traitor..” Eren looked away, into the darkness. “Or at least that’s what I used to think.” Eren shook his head. “Tell me why you did it?”

Bertholdt felt his heart slow down, and he felt the pain again. “I said it before, I have no need to say it again.”

“That answer disappoints me.”

“I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be alive.” Bertholdt’s eyes grew heavy again. “Why did you want to talk to me?”

“Your sentence is tonight, I wanted to have one more discussion with you before your sentencing. Who knows? Maybe they’ll let you live, if you truly repent that is..”

“What I have done, can not be forgiven.” 

“Ah, I guess we all think that.” Eren then nodded. “We’re done now. Your trial is in an hour. There’s only one reason I’m doing this, Bertholdt. But, I hope you survive.” Eren got up from his chair and left the room without another word. 

‘ What an odd encounter.. ‘ Bertl thought to himself.  
‘ He seems so different. It’s almost unbelievable. ‘

The two soldiers walked in again, sedated him, and pulled him from the chair. As he was dragged across the floor, he couldn’t keep his eyes open long enough, the ceilings were all he saw last. And with that, he had passed out, once again, knowing that this trial would determine the rest of his life. And it was all for worse. At least he knew Reiner was okay. That’s all he needed to know. 

That’s all.


	3. The Trial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bertholdt is taken into trial, and faced with the toughest decision of his life.

Bertholdt felt himself being dragged on the floor. He was carelessly thrown, and soon enough, he was chained to a small metal pillar, so as to prevent him from harming anyone in the courtroom. The blindfold was ripped from his head, and immediately, he saw multiple MPs aiming their rifles directly at him. As his eyes slowly searched the room, he saw the remains of the Survey Corps on one side, with the Garrison next to them. Commander Pixis and Hange were exchanging a few words, shortly before the court ruling had begun. 

The slamming from the judge’s gavel rang throughout the large room, and everyone was immediately silent. 

“Bertholdt Hoover, graduate of the 104th Cadet Corps, and now, enemy of humanity..”

Bertholdt stayed completely silent. 

“You are responsible for the countless deaths of innocents, and soldiers alike. In 845, you and your comrade, Reiner Braun, destroyed Wall Maria and let thousands of titans roam free to devour humans within Shiganshina. Is this correct?” The judge looked directly from the paper he had been reading this from, to Bertholdt, who was completely expressionless and pale. 

“Yes.” He said, without a single hint of emotion. 

“Right. And it also states here, that you are also responsible for taking the lives of many Survey Corps members, such as Hange Squad, and assisting in the elimination of Erwin Smith. And from what I can see here, you attempted to kidnap Eren Yeager from the Survey Corps. Is this correct?”

Bertholdt didn’t even let out a sigh, he almost didn’t care at this point. “Yes.”

“We have already discussed your sentence, do you have any arguments?”

Bertholdt knew that he would be put to death, even devoured. “No.” There was nothing he could do to stop this. 

“Then that settles tha-“

“Your honor!” Hange yelled loud enough for the entire courtroom to hear. “If I may have a few words?”

“You may.”

“Bertholdt Hoover proved his prowess during the Battle of Shiganshina, he almost defeated every last one of us, if it hadn’t been for Armin and Eren.. Bertholdt would have won. It was a simple mistake on his part, he wasn’t paying attention. But, I think he could be useful, more than useful. He knows his way around the Colossal Titan, and can use it well. He demonstrated for us, his unique abilities. I think this could be put to great use..” Hange paused to smile at Bertholdt. “Yes, he is responsible for the countless deaths of those who didn’t deserve it, but if we can train him well, and convince him to join us, he might be our most powerful asset in the near future, considering our situation with Marley.”

The judge was astonished at Hange’s speech. He looked down at the papers again. He turned to discuss with each of the council members, whispering back and forth. 

Bertholdt had never seen this outcome, especially from Hange. What was he supposed to do? Say yes to joining the Survey Corps? After everything he sacrificed for Marley, would this really be worth it?

“And you, Mr. Hoover.. what would you say to that?” The judge peered at him with a deathly gaze. 

Bertholdt sighed, contemplating it. Would he really survive? Is it worth putting the rest of his shifter term to serving these devils? It wasn’t the right thing to do. He couldn’t go along with this. It wasn’t worth throwing his humanity away. Even if he had already lost his humanity. Currently, he knew the most about the outside world on Paradis. But he couldn’t just throw away everything he had fought for, in just moments. It was unbelievable, unfathomable. 

He couldn’t do it. 

He couldn’t. 

Could he? 

The outcome was either death, or betrayal. What would Reiner have done? Would he have died a patriot of Marley? Would he have lived long enough to become a hero of Paradis? Bertholdt’s confliction was strong enough to tear him in two. 

“Kill him.” A random soldier spoke out. “It’s absurd! He’s a psychopath! What he has done can’t be forgiven!”

“I don’t want your forgiveness!” Bertholdt yelled back. “I don’t want you devils to look at me as one of you.”

Hange chuckled. “We’re all the same, Bertholdt.”

Bertholdt grinded his teeth. “I am an enemy of humanity. I deserve the worst death that could possibly be given to anyone.”

“At least he has some self-decency.” 

Bertholdt wanted to scream. If he wasn’t restricted, he’d be ripping his own hair out by now. There was no point in living anymore. Not for Reiner, not for Annie, not for Marley.

“But.. Reiner is alive.” He said under his breath. 

“What was that?” The judge asked.

“Is she alive? Annie Leonhardt? Is she?” Bertholdt looked up with worried eyes. 

Hange wasted no time in answering. “Bertholdt, she’s alive.”

He let out a sigh of relief. They were both alive. They’re both okay. Annie didn’t end up giving up.. so why should he? He had to make it to the end, until all three of them were united again. Like the old days. He had to keep fighting for them. It’s too early to give up. Life is short, especially for the shifters. 

The judge sighed. “So? Mr. Hoover, what is your answer?”

With tears building up in his eyes, he grinded his teeth and gave his answer. “I’ll do it. I’ll live.”

The judge then nodded and banged his gavel. “Then that settles it. Welcome to the Survey Corps.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I have been very focused on other things besides writing and social media. I am doing my best! Please bear with me.


End file.
